Ericka’s Neighborhood

I spent a lot of time this evening flipping channels between three games, and the one I watched least was the only one worth watching.  It figures.  Everything always sucks this time of year.  I don't know why I expected sports to be any different.  Anyway, during one of the commercial breaks I didn't reach for the remote quickly enough, but I was pleasantly surprised to see a few of the DC Rollergirls fill my screen.  I could wait until tomorrow to post this, but I'm already ready to move that last post down the page a bit.

I learned this evening that the Miami Redhawks basketball game against the nineteenth-ranked Cincinnati Bearcats is being broadcast on ESPN2.  I've never seen Miami play basketball on television outside of March (and those March games are rare), so it would just figure they'd be on at the same time as the Steelers.

At halftime, Miami is down by only one point.  The Steelers are losing and Ben Roethlisberger was just sacked for the fifth time.  They look fucking terrible, and they're playing the goddamn Cleveland Browns.  So I think I'm gonna switch over to the basketball game.  I'm sure Ben will understand.

Fuck the Raiders.  Fuck the ***skins.  Fuck Dan Snyder.  Fuck the Just Us League.  Fuck Dabysan.  And fuck Cap'n fucking Crunch.  I hate football and I got a lotta anger to spread around.

[UPDATE: Okay, so the Saints held on and managed to keep my Monday from being utterly miserable.  But you know what?  Fuck the ***skins anyway.]

Had to upload it to youtube this time!

At least his bedding will be clean soon, even if he isn't....

Seriously, there are days like today where I wish I'd flunked out of school and earned my living as a roofer. Sure the job isn't as glamourous, the pay is about 1/2 of what I'm bringing in now, and those hot summer days aren't the most pristine when you need a cold wet cloth wrapped around your neck for 8 hours straight. But there's a certain reward I'm not feeling at the moment with my current job. Take for instance this morning's 4-hour training module on yet another business software package to streamline our data management.

Reasons I Am Buying Less At Trader Joe's

or

Items Trader Joe's Has (Apparently) Discontinued

in no particular order other than the most heartbreaking is first (also you might notice a theme)

• Mexican Hot Cocoa Cookies--I told the cashier last year that I loved these so much I wanted to marry them.  Then I wrote Trader Joe's and told them that, and they said they were a seasonal item.  And they didn't bring them back this season.  I want to punch them in the face for this alone.
• Pierogies--these had become rather a staple for me over the last year or 2.  I'm not sure if they have been discontinued but I haven't seen any in a few months.
• Hot chocolate mix in the round blue can--okay, they have the sipping chocolate which is good, and this one I can live without but still, just another turn of the thumbscrew.  Saw it 12/10 on the shelf.
• Chocolate yogurt--the kind with the real cocoa in the bottom that you mixed up and it was all delicious and shit, not that Eurotrash crap in the smaller container they try to shove off on you.
• Cookies with Perks--the chocolate chip cookes with espresso chips (or espresso flavored cookies with chocolate chips?).  Haven't seen them since probably last winter or spring.  Bastards.
• Milk chocolate cocoa almonds (are you getting the theme yet?)--now they have the black cocoa almonds, and they are pretty good, though unless you eat them with a spoon or chopsticks it's like you just read 100,000 newspapers (okay, newspapers that taste like chocolate, but still, it's messy!)  Now---90% of the time I prefer dark chocolate, but this is one of the few exceptions (one of the others is the milk chocolate covered McVitie's digestive biscuits which I haven't had in years but I would probably sell a kidney for a packet right about tomorrow).  Would it be SO WRONG to have both?
• I didn't check for it this time because I bought some at the regular supermarket since I couldn't find it at Trader Joe's the last couple times, but if they have discontinued their frozen broccoli florets I'm gonna bust up the joint.
• I don't think they have discontinued them (YET) but their sea salt brownies were really delicious until they lightened up on the sea salt.  Now they are just bland.
• I didn't see the little chocolate mint cookie clusters.  They were so good that I can't even remember what they were. They were in a brown and dark pink round container, like a pint of ice cream, like Thin Mints or something, all crumbled up and covered in chocolate, maybe?
• Also I haven't seen the dark chocolate toffee squares I've become rather addicted to, in a while.  I bought some in September to bring on vacation.  I have one left in front of me.

There are probably other things but it's probably like regular food that doesn't stand out in my mind like chocolate stuff.  I will add things as I recall them.  I know my neighbor was pissed about some croissants they discontinued, maybe almond croissants.

They are discontinuing stuff I like but not replacing them with anything as good or better.  Are my tastes that eclectic?  Do all the rest of the Trader Joe's customers have bland ass taste?

Oh--the first thing I ever had from Trader Joe's, before I lived near one, were these little chocolate animal cracker type cookies (my sister had them at her house when I was babysitting once and I wanted to eat the whole thing).  They weren't chocolate covered or anything, they were like chocolate butter cookies that melted in your mouth.  And they replaced them with something BLAND.

I seriously was planning on buying 10 boxes of those Mexican Hot Cocoa Cookies. And next trip I would have bought 10 more.  I'm completely serious.  I was going to stock up so I could have them at least through the spring.  Or till New Year's.  Or till I OD'ed on them, or at least till I vomited.

Quit breaking my heart, Trader Joe.  You are getting to be evil and sadistic, getting me hooked on this stuff and then yanking them out from under me, without warning, before I can stock up and buy out every store in the area.

I thought this was kind of neat.

The Beatles Complete on Ukulele  (recorded in Shabby Road Studios in Brooklyn!)

I was just looking again at a newsletter I got in October from Spottiswoode & His Enemies and noticed it mentioned at the bottom.  Well, Spottiswoode does a cool version of Within You Without You which I downloaded for free.  Yep, all of the songs are free to download.  They are doing a song a week for 185 weeks till the catalog is complete.  And if you happen to be in Brooklyn this weekend, they are doing a Benefit Concert for Yoko Ono.  Last year it was a benefit for Warren Buffett, so I don't think it's like Yoko's broke and needs bone marrow transplants or anything.

Sunday December 6, 2009, from noon to midnight at Brooklyn Bowl, 61 Whythe Avenue, between N. 11th and N. 12th Streets, Brooklyn 11211.

more info here.

37WithinYouWithoutYou

Spottiswoode

Last Christmas, my brother-in-law really wanted a new fishing pole.  I went to Dick's Sporting Goods at Franklin Park Mall - in between stops at Barnes and Noble and Toys-R-Us - to get him one.  The strange thing was: none of their selection was marked with a price tag.  So I hunted down a clerk.  I picked up a really nice looking pole and asked the salesman how much it was. He said, "I'm blind, but if you give me the pole I can tell how much it is by the weight."  I gave him the pole and he quickly replied, "This pole is worth $45."  I was a little surprised by how cheap it was.  I picked out another nice-looking pole nearby and handed it to the man.  He told me, "This pole is worth $55."  I could barely believe how cheap these fishing poles were.  I then selected the nicest looking pole in the place and handed it to the man.  He barely hefted it before saying, "This is our best fishing pole, and it costs $70."  I told him I'd take it.

I'd eaten at Taco Bell for lunch, and as the nice salesman was ringing up my merchandise I suddenly had to fart very badly. I decided since he was blind it probably wouldn't matter if I farted in front of him.  So I just let it rip.  To my surprise, the clerk said, "Okay, your total is $80."  Confused, I asked him, "Didn't you say the fishing pole was only $70?"

"It is," he said.  "It's $70 for the fishing pole and $10 for the duck call."

In case it isn't blatantly obvious, I haven't felt much like blogging lately.  I've got a lot going on right now, and have been feeling generally introspective and (subsequently) down.  Some might say this is the perfect time to spew my guts onto the digital page, but that sort of earnest contemplation isn't really what I do.  At least, not here.  It tends to detract from the bickering and the fart jokes.

But I've never been one to back down from a challenge - even a challenge I never thought would be one.  So I'm still here, posting twice a week through the end of the year.  I'm not planning on more than that at this point, but I certainly won't rule it out either.  It's possible my mood will improve.  I suppose anything can happen.

Anyway since I've done a whole lot of uninteresting navel-gazing, here's something that is sort of interesting: today I went for my first run since I hurt my leg in July and I feel great.  I had only a little bit of pain in my shin during my run and for a couple hours afterward, but that's gone now.  And the endorphins are still buzzing through my system.  If I keep this up, I might even be able to manage three posts a week by the end of December.

I probably wouldn't consider, ordinarily, entering a creative writing contest sponsored Slate, but I read today that they're asking people to compose a sentence in the style of Sarah Palin.  So I don't why I wouldn't enter.  I've got an ace in the hole.

• What gravitates to me a band like the Kennedys is their endless, satirical outlook on society.
• I'm convinced Bon Scott is alive and his soul inhabits the body of that certain co-worker. Every time I see him in the corridor, he acknowledges our connection with a simple "Oui, Oui, Oui!"
• For the longest time, I abstained from this morning delicacy until my junior year of college.

The only real problem I see is determining exactly which incoherent phrase to submit.  I may have to start thinking up some pseudonyms.